EPISODE 019: Lessons From Bachelor In Paradise
Sep 9 '1715m
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As I recap the latest episode of Bachelor In Paradise, I identify what happens all too often in relationships, or desperate attempts to have a relationship. When someone says one thing, but his/her actions don’t support what they’re saying…what do you do?


Okay, I admit it. I watch Bachelor, Bachelorette, and Bachelor In Paradise. But my reason for doing so, may not be the same as yours.

I enjoy watching it to identify how people approach this thing we call the “love” or “dating game.”

It always ends up being great food for thought. Whether or not you’re a fan, stick with me here. I believe you’ll get something of value from it.

We, as women, will often put up with things in our lives that we don’t desire.

If you haven’t listened to EPISODE 018: What Do You THIRST For?…then please do so. It’s all about desire.

It’s time to enter into paradise, my dear.

The big question is: Are you accepting that which you DO NOT desire?

I see it in both women and men. It’s a human epidemic.

The cure for this epidemic: Stop participating and engaging with what you DO NOT desire. If you are, then go back and listen to EPISODE 017: Do You Feel Whole? (The WHOLE Truth.)

As I recap the latest episode of Bachelor In Paradise, I identify what happens all too often in relationships, or desperate attempts to have a relationship.

When someone says one thing, but his/her actions don’t support what they’re saying…what do you do?

He was basically telling her that he wasn’t that into her or the relationship. However, he wasn't speaking straight. He wasn't being honest. 

Although he said that he didn't want to hurt her feelings, he ended up hurting her. A lot. 

This is what happens when we focus on what we DON’T WANT. We end up creating more of what we say we don't want.

Pay attention to what you’re saying. If you catch yourself saying that you’re doing something because you DON’T WANT________. Chances are you’re going to end up doing so. Period.

I’ve seen this in my personal and professional life all too often.

Again, speak about what you DO desire, instead of what you DON’T.

The young lady continues to put up with the behavior that she doesn’t want in her relationship.

Are you confident enough in who you are that you’re going to BELIEVE IT (the truth about YOU), even when others (or circumstances) will try to tell you that you’re not enough?

Are you looking for someone else to complete you?

When “the guy” chooses someone else, this young lady is mad at "the other woman." She puts all her anger and blame on her, instead of owning the fact that she’s been trying to convince someone to be something for her that he’s not.

I know this all too well. I've done it in the past, and it doesn't work!

If someone cheats on YOU, it’s NOT because YOU’RE not enough…

If your relationship isn’t fulfilling for either of you, it’s the responsibility of both of you. You're part of the "relationship." That's why it's called a "relationship." You both have a role.

It takes commitment to stay in a relationship and grow it.

Finally this young lady made the decision to leave. However, she left feeling like a victim.

Are you blaming the SYMPTOMS of the problem instead of looking at the TRUE PROBLEM?

If you’ve ever been cheated on or cheated on someone else, remember this:

1. When you own your part of the problem, you can be a part of the solution.

2. If you continue to allow another person to treat you poorly, you’re actually treating YOURSELF that way.

I call it the “Diamond Rule.” Others will treat you the way YOU treat you.

Are you cheating on yourself? Please stop.

Allow yourself to have an affair with your own heart.

Be encouraged. If you desire paradise in your relationships, you must:

1. Know your value.
2. Know your worth.
3. Date yourself well.
4. Treat yourself well.
4. Love yourself well.


1. Grab your SACRED S.O.L. D.A.T.E. Journal (Daily Action To Engage with yourself.)

2. Answer the following questions: Where in your life are you settling for something that you do NOT desire? Where are you accepting something that you DON'T desire?

If you continue to hold onto what you do NOT desire, it will NOT leave space for what you do desire. AND...it’ll distract you from your truth.

I realize that this is a tender topic, but it's vital. It's the truth.

I’m committed to, and will continue, telling you the truth. Because knowledge of the truth will set you free.

Thank you for being here. Please come on over to iTunes and Stitcher and give us a rating and review. And thanks for sipping on life. WomenSippingOnLife.com.

xo Dr. Shannon. Inspiring minds that want to know, and hearts that want to grow so you can love YOU, YOUR LIFE, and YOUR LIFE’S WORK WELL. ONE SIP AT A TIME.

A special thanks to the following souls that helped make this podcast possible: 

Intro/Outro done by Uni V. SOL 

Outro music by Jay Man: Mind Over Matter (www.ourmusicbox.com) 

Podcast cover design and web site done by: Pablo Aguilar (www.webdesigncreator.com)

Podcast cover photo by Kate Montague of KM Captured (www.kmcaptured.com)

Women Sipping. On. Life. (with doctor shannon) is YOUR daily podcast for something new. Different. Satisfying. Soul quenching. Unscripted. LOVE. Practical Solutions. Powerful coaching that equips and empowers you to show up. Speak up. Step up. Step into your life. Fully engaged. Loving your life + life’s work well. Starting from the very first sip. Uncover and discover your TRUTH, so you can drink it all in. Live it all now. Naked. Unafraid. Unashamed. Unapologetic. Unconditionally loved. Heart + Soul. Become the great lover of your life. ONE SIP AT A TIME.

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