In this first episode, I open up about how I had to come to terms with the fact that I wasn't going to fall pregnant the way I thought I would. When you're young, you think making babies is as simple as having sex (if only!) Boy was that about a kazillion miles from the truth! This journey was a 5 year journey for hubby and I and in this episode I talk about: (06:00) how guilty I felt as all of closest friends fell pregnant and I couldn't be there for them in the way that I wanted (07:00) what going through my bitter, angry (and judgey!) stage phase was like (10:10) how we responded to ignorant and insensitive questions and statements (13:00) the moment I started to write a letter to my unborn child and how that made me realise what I really wanted (14:30) how a gentle suggestion to perhaps try anti-depressants got me back on track (16:20) how Anita Moorjani's book Dying to be Me changed everything! (22:00) my baby-making lolly ritual and how I supported myself naturally ++ a whole lot more! I hope by sharing my story anyone going through a similar situation feels a little less alone and a little more, even if just a glimmer, hope.